WHAT IS LOVE?
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1st Corrinthians13:13.
Love is one of the difficult tasks we have as human beings to find, and when found it’s the most greatest thing you would have found in life, even Paul had something to say about, things that must remain in human life perspective is Faith, Hope and Love but Love surpasses all of them. If someone loses Faith or hope it would not affect much as someone who lost Love. Unfortunately, the world at large has been either misled about love, and according to the grace given to me Christ Jesus, I have managed to compile something regarding love so that our Christians, our people can be helped on this particular subject. Many people or Christians often fall in love no doubt about that but most importantly they normally mistaken love and there are many misconceptions about Love in this generation, I am talking about Love in general, Intimacy and the Love of Christ that is Holy Spirit breathed.
We have two types of Love:
- Compassionate Love
- Passionate Love.
The former is the best than the latter according to many researches done by many psychologists.
Companionate love, is about intimacy, trust, commitment, and affection, and this kind of love does not fade away, it grows day by day regardless of what happens between those who may seem to be in love, they could be friends or they could couples or married couples or in any courtship and its true definition is what Paul was describing in Corinthians in his epistle.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1stcorrinthians13:4-8
The compassionate Love has no any condition, it’s from the heart, and it grows over time. It has strong positive feelings towards the parties in love. Paul applied it in the scriptures because we know very well that God loved us unconditionally when he gave up his only Son to die for the ungodly in the same manner He had compassionate Love, Love that did not seek wrongs, he took away His face from our sins and looked at the strength that Salvation would bring to us in Christ Jesus. Love is the foundation of success and forgiveness, where there is no love there is no forgiveness and the foundation will always be shaken and thrown or be destroyed away the enemies.
Passionate Love is a state of intense longing for union with another. Passionate love is a complex functional whole including appraisals or appreciations, subjective feelings, expressions, patterned physiological processes, action tendencies, and instrumental behaviors. Reciprocated love (union with the other) is associated with fulfillment and ecstasy. Unrequited love (separation) with emptiness, anxiety, or despair.” This passionate love fades away with time after ecstasy and your fulfillment. Its normally empty, it is so sparking but never lasts long when suffering triggers in, it may be conditional. I believe most of the people who love had this kind of love not the former. Paul describes Love does not fail which means it goes deeper than outside, it looks at positives, the reason why we fail normally is the attitude of negatives that hinder, or harbor inside us and bring about failures in life, if Love focuses so much on failures then it won’t last long since the foundation is vague. Love must never dwell so much negativity otherwise it will color our affection, intimacy and commitment.
Love is an intense feeling of affection toward another person. It’s a profound and caring attraction that forms emotional attachment. Love focuses on the inside than the outside attributes, Love rejoices with truth, never segregates no matter what, Love covers multitude of sins, and Love saves. It’s emotional, it’s triggered by the deep feelings or compassion you may feel towards one another without any conditions attachment. Love is never threatening, Love instead corrects, directs, and inspires to know the truth. Where there are lies, deception and manipulation, they will cease away, they will be cast out.
Love begins from the heart, and it is confirmed through many ways, it could start with admiration, inspiration, you feel you always want to see the people you love by your side because they inspire you, they support, they believe in you, they care about you, you may never cease to think about them. However, this does not mean that you can’t have short comings in your Love life, sometimes difficulties may want corrode your Love life towards others but if you a God fearing person, and believes in Christ, your Love should be Holy Spirit breathed. Love comes with respect, sensitivity and does not take away senses from the people as they seem to say: Love is insane, that is a misconception love is constructive and makes us better every day when we find it, we stop pretending and be ourselves.
The only hindrance to Love is SIN, when Sin is not eliminated out of us we love in part, we are always protective to avoid disappointments, we are always worried whether we can be loved back as we do, all of us want to be loved back and to be appreciated for the things we do every day unfortunately Sin has corroded all that from us, we have worldly love that is focused so much provision of things, sexual desires, materials and outer attributes. We are living in darkness and we have not found that genuine in Love and this is the most important work of the Holy Spirit to impart in us.
Many Christians are looking for answers about who they love and they want to get married to almost on a daily basis, about 90% in the church are looking for the Love, they believe when you come in church you can find true love and be at rest, unfortunately my Sisters and brothers have been left disappointed by the experience they got when they got that church girl, church boy, some have been robbed their eternal glory to come in the name of Love, the problem they have is that they see as if Love was blind which is misconception, we normally get attracted to the physical things people possess in the church, maybe He sings well or she sings well, or she goes to church every Sunday and this kind of perception has ruined many and left many in tears and now they never want anything to do with Love, Love is a gift from God, and since it’s a gift, it must be embraced, However, it must be tested in its time.
The most people who have been in disappointed in their relationships, marriages did not know they had mistaken love for something else.
Misconceptions of Love:
- Infatuation, infatuation is a short-lived passion for someone, it may be you met this person for a short period of time.
The difference between infatuation vs. love is that infatuation is a short-lived passion for someone whereas love is a deep affection for someone that lasts the test of time. … If you’ve only known the person for a short time, However, Love takes a while to develop.
If you’ve only known the person for a short time, then it is infatuation vs love. Love takes a while to develop. It takes intimacy, which requires a connection or attachment to someone. Love is about being familiar with someone, where a bond has been developed. You may feel attached to them, but if you have not taken the time to develop an intimate connection, then that attachment is coming from being infatuated, not real love.
Love is about knowing what the other person wants in life and working on compromising. It’s not about satisfying your needs and expectations solely. Some people get into a relationship and can see themselves dating, getting married, having kids, and relocating to a tropical island for their retirement. They picture all of these things in detail, including short-term events, such as spending time together and falling more and more in love. But, they are focused on their future with this person from their point of view, not the other person’s point of view. If you see your relationship solely from your point of view, then it is infatuation, not love.
It’s common to put someone we are infatuated with on a pedestal so high above ourselves that feel we lucky that they can even see us. In short, we make them out to be something they are not. We see their strengths, their perfections, their positive attributes, but we are blind to their weaknesses, imperfections, and negative attributes, while we can clearly see ours.
If all you can see is perfection in them, then it’s infatuation vs love. Nobody is perfect, no matter how much it seems that way. Every one of us has faults and makes mistakes and can get a bit annoying to other human beings. When you truly love someone, you can see them for who they are – the good and the bad – and love them anyway.
Being infatuated with someone is draining! You are constantly worried about what they think. You are obsessed over what they are doing and whether or not they are as obsessed as you are. You think about them, dream about them, worry about them, cry over them, and stress out when you think things are not going well. Love doesn’t drain your energy like that. It actually gives you energy. That’s because you are in a higher energy state, where love, gratitude, and joy are, and they are not draining to your energy, they make you feel great. Negative states, such as jealousy, worry, or fear, take a lot of energy to manifest and go through, and that’s why they drain you.
Love makes you want to create a better life for yourself in all areas. You become a better friend, a more loving person, more dedicated to your career, and more willing to make your life a success. The feeling of being loved and loving someone else makes you want to embrace your life more and be a better person, not escape everything you have worked to become because of one focal point.
- Love out of Pity: Pity is the compassionate sorrow we feel towards the suffering of others. We meet someone for whom we feel deep pity. Compassion moves us, makes us want to hold them, care for them, help them, heal them. So many relationships begin this way. One cares for the other, and it is this ebb and flow of pity and suffering that defines and supports the relationship. It isn’t to say that love cannot grow out of a relationship that begins with pity, but if pity is mistaken for love, again, what remains when the suffering is gone? What is left when the wounds have healed? In this kind of dilemma we find ourselves misled thinking we were in love with those who felt pitied during their situations of suffering, someone could have tried dating you for some time without success and you reach a time and give in in return for pity, you pity him and you accept, and the disaster cometh when that pities goes away, you feel you nothing in common, you feel you made the greatest mistake in life, you start feeling the burden, all those symptoms reveal that you never loved the person, your love was not developed rather it was triggered with pityness towards what they are going through.
What makes pity go away is when the person you thought loved heals from the trauma, and there would be no other attachment. Nothing may be left after that pity is gone, many people or Christians love out of pity because they have seen someone has been disserted and never loved, and so they feel compassion towards this person and eventually they seem in love with them but the feelings are really not true, when Love is tested the person has no deep connection of the soul and Spirit to this person or nothing you may seem sharing in common once Pity is gone after testing. Many marriages have been broken, because they loved out of pity, they could have been loved out of situations they passed through, we always want to give this sense of love and compassion towards this person who has suffered a lot in life, we tend to ignore who they are, and our love is based on who they are but what they have gone through, and this is most dangerous thing I have surfaced in life, someone said don’t try this at home, indeed don’t try to love someone out of pity at the expense of your joy, happiness in your marriage eternally. Remember marriage if life and death, we do as death do us apart. Ask yourself, is this person I wanna spend my entire life? I this person whom we can hold the future together, are you willing to adjust for that person, normally we tend to pretend that we can always change situations around by the love we may feel towards those who are around and this is very wrong and misleading, we can love dearly we cannot change, It’s the work of God worked through the Grace to change an individual.
Let’s not take love out of pity my dear brothers and Sisters, because we shall hate ourselves and everything around us, the problem is that when you have loved out pity not pure or real love we tend to shift the blame and make a lot of curses, saying all this I did for you, Yes you did them but out of pity, and now Pity has gone, there is nothing left to share about. I am writing about this because I have could fallen the victim, never marry because you the family of the girl or man has suffered for so long, and you would want to be resting place for them, my friend you are not Christ who died for us. Love is real, it has constructive criticism, love makes better people when we find, Love builds when are nothing, love is a beautiful feeling when found, and it does not fades, it does not go away out of mind, it does not focus on physicality. It is a discerner not blind.
- Mistaking Lust to be Love: Lust is a strong desire of a sexual nature that is based on physical attraction, Lust is the exact opposite of Love, that’s why Lust is dangerous, Lust leads to idolatry, Lust is selfish, Lust focuses on the physical appearance, its short lived and always triggered by sexual desires, you always desire physical parts of the person you think you have fallen in Love, it’s never patient once tested it runs, Lust is what the devil uses to destroy the people of God. Lust is in the eyes but Love is in the heart, Love sees deeper, careful. Love is emotional and Lust is a desire to have someone, Lust is only based on your point of view not others view. Many young Christians have lusted and called Love, after that sexual desired has died when you have slept with the person you lasted, lust is gone and that person becomes a piece of rage, and you want to jump to another one. Lust is never contended with they have and possess. Lust is about excitement, there is no any deep connection of the Spirit and the heart, and you feel excited as you have won a lottery. When such circumstances come in then know that you may not long in that relationship. Love is really deep, it’s based on understanding, it may hurt, even to leave some certain things at the compromise of the other party, Lust is always in rush, a person want to be a saint, He or she may appear to be the next saving angel, and normally many young generational youth have been trapped in this of sensitivity, when the right time for Loves comes, the person immediately abandons the person who thought had loved, what a sad story.
If lust married out lust, you are in a big trouble and if you married out of infatuation then you are in a big trouble. Lust and infatuation is about pretense and you want to be perfect, you can’t be who you want to be, you are always in pretense to be perfect, that’s why Real Love is tested over time.
How can we avoid Lust and Infatuation and obtain true Love?
The Bible is very straight forward, we need to obtain the Love of God in us, we need to be closer to God, the people who have not loved truly are cowards, it means Love should cast out fear, If we are still fearful to loose then we have not Loved, we are still babies. The bible gives a good clear definition of Love.
We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. 1st John3:14-15. The bible also defines Love if found we would have crossed from death to life, this is the love of God am talking about, the pure love without hidden motives, not based on conditions and so forth, which means if we are not in the Love of Christ we are still in darkness and dead, the love of Christ casts out fear, its long suffering, its sacrificial never threatening but corrective and directive.
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them? This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the Day of Judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1st John4; 16-18.
When we are filled with the Love of God, then we can love again without hypocrisy, the bible makes it even harder that if we fail to love those around us in general how we can love God whom we cannot see, we need to first love those people we see around us then we can love dearly our spouses, our children, our friends, our partners. We need this true Love that is breathed by the Holy Spirit through Christ. Just like he became an example to be the groom to the bride, the church. We must love our partners just like the way Christ Loved the church, of course this does not just come as if we are saints, some of us still have bitterness to get rid of, and frustration and then we can love better.
If we don’t rely on God’s love then we are likely to deceive ourselves all the time.
Embrace and practice the Word of God, the word of God gives us a proper direction on what love is, if we have not yet obtained it, then Lets come to the Lordship of Christ who loved the church and I believe, he can teach us about true Love, but this comes with time as we fully trust in him, that he can change us, transform us into better people according to His purpose.
Dear Christians, brethren and the fellow heirs of eternal life to come, I beg you by the mercies of God, let us not mistaken the true Love, the gift of God and trash it the way we want, If its love then let us be patient and give it time, to love and to be loved is the most beautiful thing we can experience on this planet earth, many don’t want to love for the fear of being rejected or maybe because of past bad experiences which is normal but I trust in God, I believe he can gives his love that does not fade, lets clothe ourselves with Christ Jesus and then we mount this Love mountain otherwise it’s another bigger one to amount, we need to be careful so that we may not fall into the same trap of Adam and Eve.
For we have received the Love of God through Christ which does not fade and who even can stop us from this Love? Is it things of the world? Is it persecution? Nothing can take away this love of Christ in us. In the same Let us love those people has given us for and in marriage for the betterment of His will since He is the source of Love. Let us Love without hypocrisy.
God be with you all and enable you in, let’s embrace Love in general and also for your intimacy for better foundation of our future.
I remain Asher Namanya, the fellow labourer in the Word and the glorious gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, peace be with you all.